How to Start Living Gently

It doesn't happen all at once. 

It doesn't look exactly the same for everyone.

There are some norms,
by virtue of the fact
we all have human bodies.

But our human bodies are not all the same.

Gentle Living is hard
because it has to be personalized.

Only you
know what feels good
to you.

If you don't know what you want,
nobody can.

Living gently requires diligent self-study.
This is how I do it.

--

Step 1: Write Down Your Complaints

You have probably heard you should not complain.
Perhaps they were part of the problem.
Perhaps they didn't know how to help.

I'm here to give you permission to complain.
Please write down your complaints.

This is how I started living gently.

Write your complaints
on the left side of a piece of paper,
or in Column A of a spreadsheet.

These are your problems.

They will be big and small and evolve over time.
Keep writing them down.

Looking back at the things
that are not problems anymore
feels really nice.

--

Step 2: Write Down Your Excuses

For each of your complaints, answer:
Why is this still a problem in my life?
If you don't know, write that down, too.

Write these down on the right side of the paper
or in Column B of a spreadsheet.

This is your burden.

The answers to this question are often very hard:
My body hurts or doesn't work.
That's the way things are.
My luck is bad.
They need me.
I'm not safe.
I just can't.
I have to.

These are the reasons you suffer.

--

Step 3: Choose Acceptance or Change

We suffer unless we can
accept or change
what is.

Suffering lives in the gap between them.

I see you. You are hurting.
I wish I could tell you what to do.
It pains me greatly
that I can't solve your problems for you.
I wish I knew what is right for you.

But your circumstances
and your values
define your actions.

I cannot carry your burdens.
I have my own.

From my experience I can share with you:
The longer you let yourself languish between the two,
the longer and harder you will suffer.

Denial prolongs the suffering.
It's a fog between yourself and reality.
And it's suffocating.

Relief comes through choice.
Change or Acceptance.

--

Step 4: Live Gently

Gentle Living is the art and science of
living in harmony with your body
and the environment around you.

We accept our needs
and the needs of everyone around us
as valid data.

We strive to accommodate everyone,
especially ourselves.

We solve real problems
that have tangible impacts
to our personal lives.

We are patient.
We are persistent.
We are boundaried.

We are gentle people,
Living Gently.

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