About Me

You wanted to know about me.
I've hesitated to tell you.
My past is full of shame and isolation.

Nobody wants to know about that.
But I am the sum of my experiences,
So here I am:

Childhood.

I was raised Southern Baptist.
I was homeschooled through middle school.
They used "Dare to Discipline" to the letter.
Never in anger. Always the script.
My parents loved me, and always did.
They didn't know any better.
Emotional availability
wasn't really a thing
for them either.

You can listen to the stories
of other exvangelicals
if you want to know more.

There are millions of us
Strong Willed Children they
Dared to Discipline

Let me just say this now:

Hitting your children
does not teach them anything.
Screaming at your children
does not teach them anything.
Do not do these things.
Implement these constraints today.
Get more creative
about how you manage
your relationship
with your children.

Adult Life

After I left home
I looked for love with "men."
Boys at heart, all of them.
I'll spare you the details,
but if you want to know
you can google "Domestic Abuse"
and assume it all happened to me.

I'm not alone in this either.
If this is happening to you.
Make a plan. Get out.
There's a better life waiting for you.

I coped with it all.
Until I couldn't.
I lived and I learned.
And I'm healing.

They call this
post-traumatic growth.

Mom.

I'm determined to break this cycle,
and all accounts confirm
my success-in-progress.
My family is healing,
my daughter is thriving,
my mother is joining.

I cannot possibly describe the joy this brings me.

Dad.

My father passed when I was 25.
I didn't know him as an adult.
He was a sweet, quiet man. Naïve. He always did his best.
As an American born in the 50's,
he knew English, German, Russian, and French Creole.
He was an engineer
who thought much and spoke little.

He wasn't much into social norms though.
I'm pretty certain we get the 'tism from him.

Children.

I have 3 step children from 2 previous marriages.
I loved and still love them like my own.
Their fathers are not them.
It is really something special to be a stepmother.
It's a choice. And I chose them every day I was able.

Today I have my beautiful little girl with me.
She's nearly 3 right now.
Gentle Living is for her.

This is how your mother raised you.
I learned it the hard way.
It'll be here when you're ready to listen.
Or you need to hear my voice,
or check my behavior against my intent.

I'm simultaneously parenting her and reparenting myself.
I'm just one step ahead of where she needs me to be.
On a good day.
On bad days, she drags me with her.
I love her for it.

I want to make the world a better place for her.
That started with making my world a better place,
so I could make hers a better place,
and it extends with my attempts
at making the world a better place
for you.

I met you through my work life.
Let me tell you who I know.